Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the graph demonstrates the number of children in each gender participating in sports

the graph demonstrates the number of children in each gender participating in sports gWL0g
the graph demonstrates the number of children in each gender participating in sports, namely tennis, badminton, cycling, swimming, football, and hockey in a town in England in 2012. Overall, the boys spent more time on sports than the girls did. Participation was higher among the boys than the girls except for badminton and swimming. Both genders spent the minority of their time participating in hockey whereas the highest amount of time was spent on football by the boys compared to swimming by the girls. There is a significant difference in the number of football- players between the boys and the girls. In terms of tennis, there are 50 boys who played as opposed to under 40 girls (37 girls). About 37 boys participated in cycling, which was almost double that of the girls (only 20 girls. Additionally, the number of boys playing football was three times more than the number of girls (60 players and 21 players, respectively). The difference, in terms of hockey, was minimal with only about 5 more boys playing that sport than girls. On the other hand, badminton and swimming was preferred more by girls. The majority of girls (50 girls) took part in swimming, while for the boys, the figure was only 41. The participant in badminton who was the girl was 40 as opposed to 30 who was the boy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
graph demonstrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of children in each gender participating in sports,
namely
tennis, badminton, cycling, swimming,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
, and hockey in a town in England in 2012.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
spent more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on sports than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
did. Participation was higher among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
badminton and swimming. Both genders spent the minority of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
participating in hockey whereas the highest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
was spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
compared to swimming by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. There is a significant difference in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football-
players between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and the girls.

In terms of tennis, there are 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
who played as opposed to under 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
(37
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls)
. About 37
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
participated in cycling, which was almost double that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
Unpaired symbol: ')' seems to be missing
(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
was three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
(60 players and 21 players,
respectively
). The difference, in terms of hockey, was minimal with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 5 more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
playing that sport than girls.

On the other hand
, badminton and swimming
was preferred
more by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
(50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in swimming, while for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
, the figure was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
41. The participant in badminton who was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
was 40 as opposed to 30 who was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boy
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic the graph demonstrates the number of children in each gender participating in sports

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts