Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph compares different number of male and female college students who graduated in Canada over 15 years.

The graph compares different number of male and female college students who graduated in Canada over 15 years. paEww
Both of the graphs have a clearly upward trend. Although there was little difference in the number of males and females, the male graduates tend to be more fluctuated than females. Both of the charts gradually increase in first 2 years, then dropped down into its original number in 1988. While more female students became more and more graduated in later 2 years, the males seem to have little struggled. However, the pattern both of gender graduates finally rose which can clearly sees that females was significantly increased quicker than males. In 2006, the number of women was 140, 000 and man was 96, 000 which it nearly doubles less than women. Clearly, pattern of both charts has positive trend, but the number of women are notably more than men since 1922 to 2006.
Both of the graphs have a
clearly
upward trend. Although there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
difference in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
, the male graduates tend to be more fluctuated than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
. Both of the charts
gradually
increase in
first
2 years, then
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "dropped".
dropped down
into its original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in 1988. While more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students became more and more graduated in later 2 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
seem to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
struggled.
However
, the pattern both of gender graduates
finally
rose which can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
was
significantly
increased quicker than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
. In 2006, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of women was 140, 000 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
was 96, 000 which it
nearly
doubles less than women.

Clearly
, pattern of both charts has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of women are
notably
more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
since 1922 to 2006.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The graph compares different number of male and female college students who graduated in Canada over 15 years.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6.5band
    Write about the graph. It show the proportion of participation in sporting activities.
    The line graph shows the proportion of the participation in sport activities in a small town in the UK from 1960 to 1995. It is clearly observed from the chart that Over the entire period the figures for swimming and jogging increased moderately. Conversely, that of cycling saw a slight decrease dur...
  • 6band
    Negetive effect of tarmpling on countryside show in a flow chart
    Given is flow chart explaining detrimental effects of trampling on the environment of rural sites. Overall, it is understood that by three adverse steps one causing another, trampling results in erosion and lack of quality in the soil and generally, the greenery life. At the first stage, flattened...
  • 5.5band
    WRITE ABOUT YOURSELF FOR UNIVERSITY APPLICATION
    I am entering the most crucial phase in my life; a phase during which I need to make significant academic decisions that will have a bearing on my future life and career. After thorough introspection of my strengths and interests, I have concluded that a program that integrates Business studies is t...
  • 6band
    The two maps represent the inner structures of a cinema as a comparison between 1980 and the present.
    The two maps represent the inner structures of a cinema as a comparison between 1980 and the present. In general, by the time, it is noticeable that there are some expansions as the number of screen rooms has increased significantly and some service areas were created. In contrast, such an area as ...
  • 6.5band
    The two maps show how a cinema has developed over the last forty years.
    The two maps show how a cinema has developed over the last forty years. Overall, there have been several changes, the most noticeable being the addition of three more cinema rooms and additional facilities as well as the elimination of the back parking lot. In 1980, the cinema had two cinema rooms...
  • 6band
    Flow chart below explains the negatice effects of trampling on countryside
    Given is flow chart explaining detrimental effects of trampling on the environment of rural sites. Overall, it is understood that by three adverse steps one causing another, trampling results in erosion and lack of quality in the soil and generally, the greenery life. At the first stage, flattened...