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The graph compares different number of male and female college students who graduated in Canada over 15 years.

The graph compares different number of male and female college students who graduated in Canada over 15 years. paEww
Both of the graphs have a clearly upward trend. Although there was little difference in the number of males and females, the male graduates tend to be more fluctuated than females. Both of the charts gradually increase in first 2 years, then dropped down into its original number in 1988. While more female students became more and more graduated in later 2 years, the males seem to have little struggled. However, the pattern both of gender graduates finally rose which can clearly sees that females was significantly increased quicker than males. In 2006, the number of women was 140, 000 and man was 96, 000 which it nearly doubles less than women. Clearly, pattern of both charts has positive trend, but the number of women are notably more than men since 1922 to 2006.
Both of the graphs have a
clearly
upward trend. Although there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
difference in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
, the male graduates tend to be more fluctuated than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
. Both of the charts
gradually
increase in
first
2 years, then
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "dropped".
dropped down
into its original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in 1988. While more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students became more and more graduated in later 2 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
seem to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
struggled.
However
, the pattern both of gender graduates
finally
rose which can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
was
significantly
increased quicker than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
. In 2006, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of women was 140, 000 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
was 96, 000 which it
nearly
doubles less than women.

Clearly
, pattern of both charts has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of women are
notably
more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
since 1922 to 2006.
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IELTS academic The graph compares different number of male and female college students who graduated in Canada over 15 years.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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