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The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. RN2oY
The line graph illustrates the statistics for annual cell phone and residential phone services expenses over a 9-year period, from 2001 to 2010. Overall, it is clear from the graph that the expenditure for residential phone facility fell over the whole period, while the opposite pattern could be observed in mobile phone usage. Turning to the details, mobile phone services started at 2001 with only 200 dollars spent per annum. The figure demonstrated a stable upward trajectory, before hitting a peak of approximately 700 dollars in 2010. With regard to residential phone services, it was the most popular in the first year of the period and users distributed the same sources as users of cell phone in 2010. Having said this however, the amount of money allocated for residential phone plummeted. At some point, in 2006, the expenditure of both cell and residential phone were equal to 500. Finally, it finished at 400 dollars per year in 2010.
The line graph illustrates the statistics for annual cell
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phone
and
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residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
services expenses over a 9-year period, from 2001 to 2010.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that the expenditure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
facility fell over the whole period, while the opposite pattern could
be observed
in mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
usage.

Turning to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 2001 with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
200

dollars spent per annum. The figure demonstrated a stable upward trajectory,

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
hitting a peak of approximately 700 dollars in 2010.

With regard to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
services, it was the most popular in the

first
year of the period and users distributed the same sources as users of

cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
in 2010. Having said this
however
, the amount of money allocated for

residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
plummeted. At
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point, in 2006, the expenditure of both

cell and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
were equal to 500.
Finally
, it finished at 400

dollars per year in 2010.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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