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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

The graph compares the number of people aged 65 and over in three countries between 1940 and 2040. Overall, there was and expected to be an upward trend at the end of the given period. And Japan is forecasted to be the most leading country with the number of aged people, despite showing the least proportion in the year 1940. In 1940 Sweden and the USA started their position at about 7 and 8 percent increasing moderately in the next 20 years. In 1960, however, there was a sharp growth in their rates followed by a plateau of USA's trend and a period of fluctuation for Sweden. In 1940 this percentage for USA and Sweden is predicted to be about 23% and 25% respectively. Regarding Japan, only 5% of population was people over 65 in 1940. This number, then, decreased slowly followed by a period of stability till 2020s. However, there is an expectation about a significant sharp rose from 10% in 2030 to over 25% in 2040.
The graph compares the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 65 and over in three countries between 1940 and 2040.
Overall
, there was and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be an upward trend at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. And Japan
is forecasted
to be the most leading country with the number of aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, despite showing the least proportion in the year 1940. In 1940 Sweden and the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their position at about 7 and 8 percent increasing
moderately
in the
next
20 years. In 1960,
however
, there was a sharp growth in their rates followed by a plateau of USA's trend and a period of fluctuation for Sweden.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
1940 this percentage
A determiner is probably missing here: “for the USA”.
for USA
and Sweden
is predicted
to be about 23% and 25%
respectively
. Regarding Japan,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% of population was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 65 in 1940. This number, then, decreased
slowly
followed by a period of stability till 2020s.
However
, there is an expectation about a significant sharp rose from 10% in 2030 to over 25% in 2040.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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