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The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.

The bar chart depicts the proportion of people visiting cinemas per day in Europe in 2003, 2005, and 2007. At a glance, Saturday was the most preferable day, while Monday was the least favorable for watching movies despite the fact that in 2007 Wednesday was the smallest. To begin with, in 2003 only 10% of people going to the cinemas creating a gap of 5% lower than in 2005 and approximately 2% in 2007. However, the rate of people who visit cinemas noticeably climbed on Tuesday especially in 2005 reaching 20% and overtook the position in 2005 and 2007. Nevertheless, the number dipped on Wednesday causing almost the same percentage as they were in spite of the fact that in 2003 the number was dropped to 15%. Subsequently, those rose again on Thursday, especially in 2003, the rate surged to more than 20% although in 2005 it leveled off. Fortunately, on Friday those rocketing to 30% for all of the years followed by a dramatic arise on Saturday especially in 2005 reaching 45%. Finally, those numbers plunged to between 30-35% at the end of the week for all of the years.
The bar chart depicts the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting cinemas per day in Europe in 2003, 2005, and 2007. At a glance, Saturday was the most preferable day, while Monday was the least favorable for watching movies despite the fact that in 2007 Wednesday was the smallest.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 2003
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going to the cinemas creating a gap of 5% lower than in 2005 and approximately 2% in 2007.
However
, the rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who visit cinemas
noticeably
climbed on Tuesday
especially
in 2005 reaching 20% and overtook the position in 2005 and 2007.
Nevertheless
, the number dipped on Wednesday causing almost the same percentage as they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that in 2003 the number
was dropped
to 15%.
Subsequently
, those rose again on Thursday,
especially
in 2003, the rate surged to more than 20% although in 2005 it leveled off.
Fortunately
, on Friday those rocketing to 30% for
Consider using “all the”.
all of the
years followed by a dramatic arise on Saturday
especially
in 2005 reaching 45%.
Finally
, those numbers plunged to between 30-35% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the week for
Consider using “all the”.
all of the
years.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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