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The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museum between 2000 and 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museum between 2000 and 2005. pR1Oa
The bar chart illustrate the information from different museums about it's visitors in six years. Overall, museums from New York and Tokyo had fluctuated rush in each year. Whereas there was a rapid growth reported in the national museum. Another interesting point is that there was the record breaking rush over the period in China's museum. To begin with the first year, met museum had 12 million visitors. But there was a sudden decrease in the number of visitors in the year 2001 and 2002. The number of tourists where the same in these two years. And then it started growing the number of individuals till the year 2005. On the other hand Edo welcomed around 13 million people in the two years of beginning. After that, this number went down rapidly for next couple of yours. From 2003 to 2005 the number of guests who wanted to come up to museum was increased slowly. In the year 2000, the museum from China had invited around the half number of people then the met museum. But, this number was increased over the period. The main point is that, the numerical value of visitors was stopped at 11 million for the year 2003 and 2004.
The bar chart illustrate the information from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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museums
about it's
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visitors
in six years.

Overall
,
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museums
from New York and Tokyo had fluctuated rush in each
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year
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
there was a rapid growth reported in the national
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museum
. Another interesting point is that there was the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
record breaking
rush over the period in China's museum.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the
first
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year
, met
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
had 12 million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there was a sudden decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2001 and 2002. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of tourists where the same in these two years. And then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
growing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of individuals till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005.

On the other hand
Possible spelling mistake found.
Edo
welcomed around 13 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the two years of beginning. After that, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
went down
rapidly
for
next
couple of yours. From 2003 to 2005 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of guests who wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
was increased
slowly
.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
from China had invited around the half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
then the met
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
was increased
over the period. The main point is that, the numerical value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
at 11 million for the
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year
2003 and 2004.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museum between 2000 and 2005.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
204 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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