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the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017

The line graph illustrates the number of international visitors that went to a specific Caribbean Island. The datas were calibrated in millions and collected in eight different years and grouped into three categories, which are tourists that stayed on cruise ships, island, and the sum number. Overall, the total of visitors who went to a Caribbean Island kept inclining from time to time. In addition, the number fluctuated once in the year of 2015, it rocketed in 2016. To begin with, the number of outsiders that came to the island of Caribbean in 2010 that stayed on an island was approximately 0. 7 millions, it remained the same until 2011. Furthermore, tourists who stayed on the island went up in 2011 until the number of visitors stayed the same from 2013 to 2014 with the number of 1. 5 millions. On the other hand, those who stayed on water transportations decreased once which was in the year of 2012. However, ever since then the number kept growing year by year until it reached 2 million of visitors.
The line graph illustrates the
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number
of international
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visitors
that went to a specific Caribbean
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Island
. The
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datas
were calibrated
in millions and collected in eight
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different
years and grouped into three categories, which are tourists that
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stayed
on cruise ships,
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island
, and the sum number.

Overall
, the total of
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visitors
who went to a Caribbean
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Island
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
inclining from time to time.
In addition
, the
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number
fluctuated once in the
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year
of 2015, it rocketed in 2016.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
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number
of outsiders that came to the
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island
A determiner is probably missing here: “of the Caribbean”.
of Caribbean
in 2010 that
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stayed
on an
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island
was approximately 0. 7 millions, it remained the same until 2011.
Furthermore
, tourists who
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stayed
on the
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island
went up in 2011 until the
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number
of
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visitors
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stayed
the same from 2013 to 2014 with the
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number
of 1. 5 millions.

On the other hand
, those who
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stayed
on water transportations decreased once which was in the
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year
of 2012.
However
, ever since then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
until it reached 2 million of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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