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The graph below shows the number of murders per 100, 000 inhabitants in different countries, according to a report in 2014.

The graph below shows the number of murders per 100, 000 inhabitants in different countries, according to a report in 2014. q5BgD
The bar chart provides information on the murder rate per 1 million residents of 9 various countries in 2014. Overall, the continent of South America has a large ratio compared to others in which sadly Jamaica leads. According to the graph, the difference between the largest and the smallest, proudly held by Canada is significant. First of all, Jamaica has the highest rate with slightly over 45. The second position is bagged by South Africa that accounted for little below 35 deaths. Following that the next rank for death rate observed a gradual dip of around 30 which was shared by Guatemala and the Bahamas. Similarly, the same trend appeared for Columbia and Brazil with just above 25. The fourth-smallest ratio of barely more than 15 that fell drastically was seen in Mexico. Finally, the three lowest murder averages were of Russia, Mongolia, and Canada (approximately 10, near 5, close to negligible respectively).
The bar chart provides information on the murder rate per 1 million residents of 9 various countries in 2014.
Overall
, the continent of South America has a large ratio compared to others in which
sadly
Jamaica leads. According to the graph, the difference between the largest and the smallest,
proudly
held by Canada is significant.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Jamaica has the highest rate with
slightly
over 45. The second position
is bagged
by South Africa that accounted for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
below 35 deaths. Following that the
next
rank for death rate observed a gradual dip of around 30 which
was shared
by Guatemala and the Bahamas.
Similarly
, the same trend appeared for Columbia and Brazil with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 25.

The fourth-smallest ratio of
barely
more than 15 that fell
drastically
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Mexico.
Finally
, the three lowest murder averages were of Russia, Mongolia, and Canada (approximately 10, near 5, close to negligible
respectively
).
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the number of murders per 100, 000 inhabitants in different countries, according to a report in 2014.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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