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The diagram below show the site of school in 2014

The diagram below show the site of school in 2014 XVda8
The maps depicts the development which took place the side of school in 2004, with the projected use until 2024 Overall, what stands out from the given information is that a comparison of two maps reveals a change from old to up -date view. In 2004 there was a few facilities in site of school. However, the place is expected to improve dramatically and the number of students will be increased in 2024. The most noticeable fact is that the building of school will be expended in the future. Moreover, at the northern part of the map, some of the greener areas will be reduced and replaced by sport field and car park. However, few places such as car park 1, main entrance of school will be remained unchanged.
The maps
You should probably use "depict".
depicts
the development which took place the side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in 2004, with the projected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
until 2024

Overall
, what stands out from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information is that a comparison of two maps reveals a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
to up -date view.

In 2004 there was a few facilities in site of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
However
, the place is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
dramatically
and the number of students will
be increased
in 2024. The most noticeable fact is that the building of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will
be expended
in the future.
Moreover
, at the northern part of the map,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
greener areas will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and replaced by sport field and car park.
However
, few places such as car park 1, main entrance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will
be remained
unchanged.
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IELTS academic The diagram below show the site of school in 2014

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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