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the graph below shows the monthly profit of 3 british companies ielts

the graph below shows the monthly profit of 3 british companies ielts N8Vbm
The given line graph compares monthly profits of given three British companies namely acme sports, Curtis car and Branson motors in 3 quarters for financial year 2000. The leading company in the starting of financial year, 2000 was Acme Sports Car which was making approximate three times more profit than Branson Motors whose profit was 20, 000 pounds. In the first quarter, former company's profit experienced saw a decline but an increase in the June leads it to 80000 pounds profit while, a constant surge in profit was seen in the latter one. At the end of first quarter, tax was imposed/levied on luxury goods which negatively effected the profit of Acme Sports Car in the months between July and September and profit plunged to 10, 000 pounds and Branson Motors earned 60000 pounds profit. Zig-zag trend in the profit was observed in the case of Branson Motors and profit fell between 50000 pounds and 60000 pounds whereas, Acme Sports Car's profit recovered in the third quarter and reached to 20000 pounds. Media reports that happened in the stating of fourth quarter brought a boost in the economy and this positively influence profit of both the companies and ended up making Branson Motors, the most profitable company of 2000 financial year. Branson Motors and Acme Sports Car gained a profit of 60000 pounds and 40000 pounds at the end of 2000 financial year respectively/severally. On the other hand, Curtis car mart had got a good profit of $40k in the beginning that dropped to 20k pounds in the end of 1st quarter. Overall, financial year 2000 was most successful for Branson Motors in comparison to Acme Sports Car that witnessed fluctuating profit.
The
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given
line graph compares monthly
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profits
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
three British
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companies
namely
acme
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sports
, Curtis
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car
and
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Branson
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motors
in 3
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quarters
for
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financial
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year
2000. The leading
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company
in the starting of
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financial
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year
, 2000 was Acme
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Sports
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Car
which was making approximate three times more
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profit
than
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Branson
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Motors
whose
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profit
was 20, 000 pounds. In the
first
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quarter
, former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
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profit
experienced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a decline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an increase in the June leads it to
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80000 pounds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
while, a constant surge in
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profit
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the latter one. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
first
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quarter
, tax
was imposed
/levied on luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which
negatively
effected the
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profit
of Acme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
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Car
in the months between July and September and
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profit
plunged to 10, 000 pounds and
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Branson
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Motors
earned
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60000 pounds
profit.

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Zig-zag
trend in the
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profit
was observed
in the case of
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Branson
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Motors
and
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profit
fell between
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50000 pounds
and
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60000 pounds
whereas, Acme
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Sports
Car's
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profit
recovered in the third
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quarter
and reached to
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20000 pounds
. Media reports that happened in the stating of fourth
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quarter
brought a boost in the economy and this
positively
influence
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profit
of both the
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companies
and ended up making
Possible spelling mistake found.
Branson
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Motors
, the most profitable
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company
of 2000
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financial
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year
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Branson
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Motors
and Acme
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Sports
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Car
gained a
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profit
of
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60000 pounds
and
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40000 pounds
at the
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end
of 2000
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financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
respectively
/
severally
.
On the other hand
, Curtis
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car
mart had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
of $40k in the beginning that dropped to 20k pounds in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 1st quarter.

Overall
,
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financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000 was most successful for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Branson
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Motors
in comparison
to Acme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
that witnessed fluctuating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
.
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IELTS academic the graph below shows the monthly profit of 3 british companies ielts

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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