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The graph below shows the Gross Value Added of Taiwan in two different industries from the year 2005 to 2009 in percentage.

The graph illustrates the Gross value Added of Taiwan in two different sectors between the year 2005 and 2019 in proportion. Overall, both sectors increased tremendous but the Manufacturing sector raised comparatively more than service sector. In 2005, the Gross Value Added of Service sector was at 4 per cent which had experienced slight raise in the nexr year. Moreover, from 2006 to 2009 a noticable increment in the Gross value added had been observed. On the other hand, the Gross Value Added of the Manufacturing sector was just over 6 percent in 2005, and in the next year, a slight raise about 2 per cent had been seen. In addition to this, the Gross Value Added of Manufacturing sector had remarkable increased nearly 16 per cent between the year 2007 and 2009.
The graph illustrates the Gross
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value
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Added
of Taiwan in two
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different
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sectors
between the
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year
2005 and 2019 in proportion.

Overall
, both
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sectors
increased tremendous
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but
the Manufacturing
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sector
raised
comparatively
more than service sector.

In 2005, the Gross
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Value
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Added
of Service
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sector
was at 4 per cent which had experienced slight raise in the
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nexr
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year
.
Moreover
, from 2006 to 2009 a
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noticable
increment in the Gross
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value
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added
had
been observed
.

On the other hand
, the Gross
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Value
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Added
of the Manufacturing
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sector
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 6 percent in 2005, and in the
next
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year
, a slight raise about 2 per cent had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.
In addition
to this, the Gross
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Value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Added
of Manufacturing
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sector
had remarkable increased
nearly
16 per cent between the
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year
2007 and 2009.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the Gross Value Added of Taiwan in two different industries from the year 2005 to 2009 in percentage.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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