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The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. NOM0
The line graph compares the need for electric supply in two seasons winter and summer in Britain, and it is measured in units. While the pie chart compares the usage of electricity in houses, it is measured in percentages. Overall, it is clear that electricity is used more in winter than in summer. However, the highest usage of electricity is for room and water heating whilst the lowest and exactly equal usage is for lighting, tv, and radio, and also for vacuum cleaners, food mixers and electric tools. According to a line graph, summer and winter electricity usage started at less than 20000 and more than 30000 units respectively. After three days in winter, it rises sharply to 40000 units whereas in summer it reaches 20000 at nearly 15th day. Before went up in winter to 40000 units on 15th day, the figure has declined significantly to 30000 units on 9th day. After decrease slightly in summer, it remains constant from 15 to 21. Then, it has increased slightly to 20000 units before went down on 24th day. By contrast in winter, it has stabilized before a slight rise on 21st day, and then it falls to just above 30000 units on 24th day at just below 20000 units. Turning to the pie chart, more than half of the percentage spend on heating rooms and water while 15% goes on tv lighting and radio, and vacuum cleaners, food mixers, and electric tools. Moreover, only 17. 5% used ovens, kettles, and washing machines.
The line graph compares the need for electric supply in two seasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
and
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summer
in Britain, and it
is measured
in
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units
. While the pie chart compares the
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usage
of
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electricity
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, it
is measured
in percentages.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
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electricity
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more in
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winter
than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
.
However
, the highest
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usage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
is for room and water heating whilst the lowest and exactly equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
is for lighting,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
, and radio, and
also
for vacuum cleaners, food mixers and electric tools.

According to a line graph,
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summer
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
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electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at less than 20000 and more than 30000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
respectively
. After three days in
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winter
, it rises
sharply
to 40000
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units
whereas in
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summer
it reaches 20000 at
nearly
15th day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
went up in
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winter
to 40000
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units
on 15th day, the figure has declined
significantly
to 30000
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units
on 9th day. After decrease
slightly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
summer
, it remains constant from 15 to 21. Then, it has increased
slightly
to 20000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
went down on 24th day. By contrast in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
winter
, it has stabilized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a slight rise on 21st day, and then it falls to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 30000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
on 24th day at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 20000 units.

Turning to the pie chart, more than half of the percentage spend on heating rooms and water while 15% goes on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
lighting and radio, and vacuum cleaners, food mixers, and electric tools.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
17. 5%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
ovens, kettles, and washing machines.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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