Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart illustrates consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015.

The chart illustrates consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015. WOYb
The linear representation demonstrates the statistics of consumption of three types of fast foods by Mauritian teens over a period of infallible 30 years. From an overall perspective, it is axiomatic that intake of hamburger and fried chicken increased, whereas consumption of pizza had suffered a decline over the period. By casting a fleeting glance, initially in 1985, pizza had been eaten maximum times in an annum witnessed 60 times, while intake of hamburger and fried chicken was only 10 and 5 times every year respectively. A significant growth had been accounted in the consumption of hamburger and fried chicken, when hamburger hit the peak with well over 70 times each year. Further scrutinizing the details, in 2005, the figures of fried chicken were recorded 60 times annual consumption followed by a stability iun the next five year, with a marginal increase in 2015. Meanwhile, consumption of pizza declined rapidly with every year and plummeted to only 10 times at the end of the given period.
The linear representation demonstrates the statistics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of three types of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods by Mauritian teens over a period of infallible

30 years.

From an
overall
perspective, it is axiomatic that intake of hamburger and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fried
chicken increased, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of pizza had suffered a decline over the period.

By casting a fleeting glance,
initially
in 1985, pizza had
been eaten
maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in an
Possible spelling mistake found.
annum
witnessed 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, while intake of hamburger and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fried
chicken was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10 and 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
every year
respectively
. A significant growth had
been accounted
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of hamburger and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fried
chicken, when hamburger hit the peak with well over 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
each year.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
scrutinizing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, in 2005, the figures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fried
chicken
were recorded
60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
followed by a stability
Possible spelling mistake found.
iun
the
next
five year, with a marginal increase in 2015. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of pizza declined
rapidly
with every year and plummeted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The chart illustrates consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
166 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts