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the graph below show the percentage of overweight man and women in Australia between 1980 and 2010. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the graph below show the percentage of overweight man and women in Australia between 1980 and 2010. doqB6
The given bar chart reveals the information about males and females who were overweight in Australia from 1980 to 2010. THe data has been given in percentages. Overall, it is clearly evident that, although percentage of both gender increased significantly. But the ratio of man dropes in last given 10 years. Firstly, looking in the details. it is clear that percentage of overweight man showed the increasing trend from 1980 to 2000. And in 2000, man reached a peak leave which was more than 8%, this trend has changed in downward in 2010. the percentage of obese man decreased 10%. on the othe hand, initially year 1980 the ratio of overweight women was 40%, afterthat, this percentage was increased nearly 10% every 10 years. Moreover, the percentage of obese females reached equal level in last 20 years (2000, 2010), which was exactly 60%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart reveals the information about males and females who were overweight in Australia from 1980 to 2010.
Possible spelling mistake found.
THe
data has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in percentages.

Overall
, it is
clearly
evident that, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of both gender increased
significantly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "drops", the plural form of the noun 'drop'?
dropes
in last
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
10 years.

Firstly
, looking in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the increasing trend from 1980 to 2000. And in 2000,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
reached a peak
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
which was more than 8%, this trend has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in downward in 2010.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
decreased 10%.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
othe
hand,
initially
year 1980 the ratio of overweight women was 40%,
Possible spelling mistake found.
afterthat
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was increased
nearly
10% every 10 years.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of obese females reached equal level in last 20 years (2000, 2010), which was exactly 60%.

IELTS academic the graph below show the percentage of overweight man and women in Australia between 1980 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • the graph below show the percentage of overweight man and women in Australia between 1980 and 2010. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.