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The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. pR1r0
The given line graph elucidates the number of births and death in New Zealand during the 20th Century uptill 2021 and prediction are made in furtherance of the numbers during the 12st century beginning from 2021 to the end of the decade. Overall, it can be observed that the situation in New Zealand worsened after a certain point of time where number of deaths outnumbers the birth. It can be analysed that there were about 20000 births in New Zealand as compared to 10000 deaths. While the numbers continue to surge, the nation recorded approximately 25000 births and 15000 deaths during 1941. Preceding four decades witnessed the birth rates attaining pinnacle at well over 60000 against 20000 deaths whereas the next four forty years are evident of declining births and rising death (both) by 20000. Thereafter, the forecasts are suggestive of trends where number of births soared and the deaths rose by 10000 to intersect each other at around 50000 people in 2041. The two following decades are evident of rising deaths (approx. 60000) and tanking births (approx. 45000). Towards the end of 21st Century the number of deaths and births stood at similar numbers as of the years 2061.
The
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given
line graph elucidates the
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number
of
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births
and death in New Zealand during the 20th Century
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uptill
2021 and prediction
are made
in furtherance of the
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numbers
during the 12st century beginning from 2021 to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the decade.

Overall
, it can
be observed
that the situation in New Zealand worsened after a certain point of
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time where
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number
of deaths outnumbers the birth.

It can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
that there were about 20000
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births
in New Zealand as compared to 10000 deaths. While the
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numbers
continue to surge, the nation recorded approximately 25000
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births
and 15000 deaths during 1941. Preceding four decades witnessed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
rates attaining pinnacle at well over 60000 against 20000 deaths whereas the
next
four forty years are evident of declining
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births
and rising death (both) by 20000.

Thereafter, the forecasts are suggestive of trends where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
soared and the deaths rose by 10000 to intersect each other at around 50000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2041. The two following decades are evident of rising deaths (approx. 60000) and tanking
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births
(approx. 45000). Towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 21st Century the
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number
of deaths and
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births
stood at similar
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numbers
as of the years 2061.

IELTS academic The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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