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US Consumers' average annual expenditures on phones

US Consumers' average annual expenditures on phones yXDlg
A steady decline in the usage of residential phone services across the Unites States can be observed from the chart published by the U. S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Consumer Expenditure Survey, titled Average annual expenditures on cell phones and residential phone services, 2001-2010. The reason for this can be attributed to the growing trend of cell phone usage which is also demonstrated in the same graph. In 2001, consumers in the US have spent negligible amounts on cell phone services annually, while the spend on residential phone services are considerable - amounting close to $700. These figures have changed drastically over a period of 10 years. In 2010, a US consumer, on average, has spent $400 on residential phone services and the cell phone expenditure edges close to $800. The total phone expenses of a consumer on average has also increased significantly over the decade. The average total cost has gone up from $700 to close to $1200. The downward trend of spend on residential phone services, however, is lesser in comparison to the upward trend of cell phone spend. In conclusion, the study indicates the willingness of US consumers to spend more on cell phone services than on residential phone services.
A steady decline in the usage of
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residential
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phone
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services
across the Unites States can
be observed
from the chart published by the U. S. Bureau of Labor Statistics,
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Consumer
Expenditure Survey, titled
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Average
annual expenditures on
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cell
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phones
and
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residential
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phone
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services
, 2001-2010. The reason for this can
be attributed
to the growing trend of
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cell
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phone
usage which is
also
demonstrated in the same graph.

In 2001,
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consumers
in the US have spent negligible amounts on
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cell
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phone
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services
annually
, while the spend on
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residential
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are considerable
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
amounting close to $700. These figures have
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changed
drastically
over a period of 10 years. In 2010, a US
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consumer
, on
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average
, has spent $400 on
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residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
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services
and the
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cell
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phone
expenditure edges close to $800.

The total
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phone
expenses of a
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consumer
on
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average
has
also
increased
significantly
over the decade. The
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average
total cost has gone up from $700 to close to $1200.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
downward trend of spend on
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residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
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services
,
however
, is lesser
in comparison
to the upward trend of
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cell
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phone
spend.

In conclusion
, the study indicates the willingness of US
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consumers
to spend more on
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cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.

IELTS academic US Consumers' average annual expenditures on phones

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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