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The given table makes a detailed comparison about some different items between Madagascar and Mauritius around the Indian ocean in 1999.

The given table makes a detailed comparison about some different items between Madagascar and Mauritius around the Indian ocean in 1999. DlY2A
The given table makes a detailed comparison about some different items between Madagascar and Mauritius around the Indian ocean in 1999. The surface of Madagascar reached 12823 km2, which is five times larger than Mauritius, of which the same figure is only 2189 km2. The territory area explains why the number of residents in Madagascar also exceeded Mauritius’s population, which is 2678 and 45 thousands respectively. As for the demographic change, both nations present a rising pattern, although compared to 12% of Madagascar, the 2% of Mauritius is a little bit slow. However, though Madagascar was leading in the three items I have mentioned above, it behaved negatively in the GDP and enrollment of school compared with Mauritius. The people living in Mauritius enjoy 360 dollars per capital in average in 1999, which is about triple that of Madagascar. Looking at the enrollment rates, it is obvious that once it turns to secondary school, the figure of Madagascar is far lower than Mauritius (51% and 73% respectively), despite that of primary education only shows a slight difference. To sum up, although Madagascar has larger territory and population, when considering the economic and educational aspects, it is not as well performed as Mauritius
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a detailed comparison about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
items between Madagascar and Mauritius around the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Indian ocean
in 1999.

The surface of Madagascar reached 12823 km2, which is five times larger than Mauritius, of which the same figure is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2189 km2.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
territory area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why the number of residents in Madagascar
also
exceeded Mauritius’s population, which is 2678 and 45 thousands
respectively
. As for the demographic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, both nations present a rising pattern, although compared to 12% of Madagascar, the 2% of Mauritius is a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
slow.

However
, though Madagascar was leading in the three items I have mentioned above, it behaved
negatively
in the GDP and enrollment of school compared with Mauritius. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in Mauritius enjoy 360 dollars per capital in average in 1999, which is about triple that of Madagascar. Looking at the enrollment rates, it is obvious that once it turns to secondary school, the figure of Madagascar is far lower than Mauritius (51% and 73%
respectively
), despite that of primary education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a slight difference.

To sum up, although Madagascar has larger territory and population, when considering the economic and educational aspects, it is not
as well
performed as Mauritius
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IELTS academic The given table makes a detailed comparison about some different items between Madagascar and Mauritius around the Indian ocean in 1999.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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