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Coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five cities in Australia

Coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five cities in Australia r8aK6
As you can see, there are five major cities in Australia has been shown in the bar chart, also there are three bars for each city which shows from the left to right is "bought free coffee", "bought instant coffee" and "went to a cafe for coffee or tea" in at last 4 weeks respectively, and the horizontal axis is the percentage of city residents. The first bar is "Went to a coffee" for coffee or tea in ‌Melbourn is the same as Hobart and value of them is roughly 65 per cent, these two cities are the top of bought of fresh coffee, and Adelaide is the lowest and it has 50 per cent. The second bar is "Bought instant coffee" in Hobart is the highest that value is 55 per cent, and the lowest in Sydney and Melbourn and Adelaide has a very similar value that value is about 50 per cent. The last bar is "Bought fresh coffee" in Brisbane and Adelaide has equal value and that is 35 per cent; these two cities are the lowest percentage of bought fresh coffee in the char; Sydney and Melbourne is the highest percentage. In conclusion, In Adelaide shows that people prefer to bought instant coffee instead of bough fresh coffee, In Sydney bought fresh and instant coffee is mainly the same.
As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, there are five major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in Australia has
been shown
in the bar chart,
also
there are three bars for each city which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to right is
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
free coffee
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
instant coffee
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
went to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
in at last 4 weeks
respectively
, and the horizontal axis is the percentage of city residents.

The
first
bar is
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"
Went to a coffee
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
for
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coffee
or tea in ‌
Possible spelling mistake found.
Melbourn
is the same as Hobart and
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value
of them is roughly 65 per cent, these two
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cities
are the top of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
, and Adelaide is the lowest and it has 50 per cent.

The second bar is
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Bought
instant coffee
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
in Hobart is the highest that
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value
is 55 per cent, and the lowest in Sydney and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Melbourn
and Adelaide has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
similar
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value
that
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value
is about 50 per cent.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
last bar is
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Bought
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fresh
coffee
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
in Brisbane and Adelaide has equal
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value
and
that is
35 per cent; these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are the lowest percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in the char; Sydney and Melbourne is the highest percentage.

In conclusion
, In Adelaide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
instead
of bough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
, In Sydney
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
and instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
is
mainly
the same.
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IELTS academic Coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five cities in Australia

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
223 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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