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The given shows the consumption of energy in 2009 and 2010

The given shows the consumption of energy in 2009 and 2010 Nl5Md
The data depicts percentage of energy exhaustion in world. The years taken into consideration are 2009 and 2010. The data is caliberated in percentageOverall, the worldwide consumption of oil in 2010 sky rocketed. Moreover in 2009, there was an increment noticed in oil utilization. However, in the year 20090the percentage of coal exhaustion was the highest among other energy consumptionIn 2010, 34% of oil was used worldwide and it was the highest consuming energy source. Moreover, after oil, coil was highly used and the percentage of the coal exhaustion was at 30%. However, only 1% of renewable resources exhausted Altough there was +7. 5 increment in the consumption of coal in 2009. Where as the percentage of oil consumption was increased upto +3. Moreover it has been noticed that in 2009 the exhaustion of coal was at peak
The data depicts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of energy exhaustion in world. The years taken into consideration are 2009 and 2010.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
data is
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caliberated
in
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percentageOverall
, the worldwide consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
in 2010
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
sky rocketed
.
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Moreover
in 2009, there was an increment noticed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
utilization.
However
, in the year 20090the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of coal exhaustion was the highest among other energy
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptionIn
2010, 34% of
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oil
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
worldwide and it was the highest consuming energy source.
Moreover
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
, coil was
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the coal exhaustion was at 30%.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% of renewable resources exhausted
Possible spelling mistake found.
Altough
there was +7. 5 increment in the consumption of coal in 2009.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
consumption
was increased
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
+3.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it has
been noticed
that in 2009 the exhaustion of coal was at
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
peak
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IELTS academic The given shows the consumption of energy in 2009 and 2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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