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The given pie chart represents the online trade for retail sectors for various items such as travel, film/music, books and clothes in between year 2003 t0 2013.

The given pie chart represents the online trade for retail sectors for various items such as travel, film/music, books and clothes in between year 2003 t0 2013. yDX0l
The given pie chart represents the online trade for retail sectors for various items such as travel, film/music, books and clothes in between year 2003 t0 2013. Overall, the highest proportion of share of the sales is occupied by travel and least of it is occupied by books in 2003. In comparison, at the end of the period, films/music became the largest sales segment and the lowest contribution was made by clothing. In 2003, the highest proportion of sales was travel with 36 percent of the total shares whereas the least contribution was made by book sales at 19 percent. The second common segment was clothing with 24 percent of the total shares and 21 percent of the contribution was made by film/music which was slightly higher than clothing segment. In contrast, at the end of the year 2013, the highest percentage of sales was accounted by film and music which was not so common in beginning of the period. The lowest sales was for clothing with the increase of 8 percent. An insignificant amount of decrement by 3 percent in book sales was observed by the end of the period.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart represents the online trade for retail sectors for various items such as travel, film/music,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and clothes in between year 2003 t0 2013.

Overall
, the highest proportion of share of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
is occupied
by travel and least of it
is occupied
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in 2003.
In comparison
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, films/music became the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
segment and the lowest contribution
was made
by clothing.

In 2003, the highest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
was travel with 36
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the total shares whereas the least contribution
was made
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
at 19
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. The second common segment was clothing with 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the total shares and 21
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the contribution
was made
by film/music which was
slightly
higher than clothing segment.

In contrast
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year 2013, the highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
was accounted
by film and music which was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common in beginning of the period. The lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
was for clothing with the increase of 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. An insignificant amount of decrement by 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
was observed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic The given pie chart represents the online trade for retail sectors for various items such as travel, film/music, books and clothes in between year 2003 t0 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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