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The given line graph depicts the proportion of each 1000 individuals who often smoke between 1960 and 2000.

The given line graph depicts the proportion of each 1000 individuals who often smoke between 1960 and 2000. gxwK7
The given line graph depicts the proportion of each 1000 individuals who often smoke between 1960 and 2000. In general, the men rate showed a downward trend while women witnessed a modest fluctuation during the whole period. In the beginning year, the distribution of men stood at 600 per 1000 which was 6 times more than women. In the next decade, men rate declined slowly from 600 to 500 per 1000 while women rose dramatically and peaked at over 300 per 1000 in 1970. After that, between 1975 and 1990, the proportion of smoking men saw the same trend and decreased by 100 to just under 400 per 1000. Women rate change was inconsiderable in this period. In the last decade, both men and women experienced a gradual drop and then hit the lowest point of around 250 per 1000.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph depicts the proportion of each 1000 individuals who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
smoke between 1960 and 2000.
In general
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a downward trend while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
witnessed a modest fluctuation during the whole period.

In the beginning year, the distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
stood at 600 per 1000 which was 6 times more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the
next
decade,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
rate declined
slowly
from 600 to 500 per 1000 while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
rose
dramatically
and peaked at over 300 per 1000 in 1970. After that, between 1975 and 1990, the proportion of smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the same trend and decreased by 100 to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 400 per 1000.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was inconsiderable in this period.

In the last decade, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
experienced a gradual drop and then hit the lowest point of around 250 per 1000.
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IELTS academic The given line graph depicts the proportion of each 1000 individuals who often smoke between 1960 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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