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The given line graph depicts the percentage of the population senior citizens having age above 65 and over of Japan, Sweden, the USA between 1940 and 2020

The given line graph depicts the percentage of the population senior citizens having age above 65 and over of Japan, Sweden, the USA between 1940 and 2020 nNnnn
The given line graph depicts the percentage of the population senior citizens having age above 65 and over of Japan, Sweden, the USA between 1940 and 2020. Overall, according to given graph three nations are given, in which population of old people in Japan is less in comparison to the other two countries. However, the line graph of the USA and Sweden are nearly parallel through years 1940 to 1990 after 1990 they intersect each other. Firstly trends of three given nations Japan, Sweden and USA were at the percentage of population 5%, 6%, and 8% respectively. The proportion of the population in United States of America and Sweden were constantly increasing by the year 1960 where the percentage of USA and Sweden were touched 10% and 9% respectively, on the other hand, percentage of Japan was slightly dropped. Secondly after the year 1960 continuously parallel performance stopped in around 1990, where the percentage of the population in Sweden overtook the USA, furthermore, it continues by the year 2040. On the contrary, after slight increasing fluctuation japan overtook both USA and Sweden in mid of '20s.
The
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given
line graph depicts the
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percentage
of the
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population
senior citizens having age above 65 and over of
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Japan
, Sweden, the USA between 1940 and 2020.

Overall
, according to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph three nations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, in which
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population
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
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Japan
is less
in comparison
to the other two countries.
However
, the line graph of the USA and Sweden are
nearly
parallel through years 1940 to 1990 after 1990 they intersect each other.

Firstly
trends of three
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, Sweden and USA were at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
5%, 6%, and 8%
respectively
. The proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United States".
in United States
of America and Sweden were
constantly
increasing by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1960 where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
and Sweden
were touched
10% and 9%
respectively
,
on the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
was
slightly
dropped.

Secondly
after the
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year
1960
continuously
parallel performance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
in around 1990, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in Sweden overtook the USA,
furthermore
, it continues by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2040.
On the contrary
, after slight increasing fluctuation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
japan
overtook both USA and Sweden in mid of '20s.
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IELTS academic The given line graph depicts the percentage of the population senior citizens having age above 65 and over of Japan, Sweden, the USA between 1940 and 2020

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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