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Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age.

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. YwMDn
Over the last century the attitude towards children education and optimal upbringing strategies has evolved beyond any wildest expectations of our ancectors. This has been driven by social and demographical change as well as by scientific research on children development and psychology. Many srategies were tested in various countries, including long-term homeschooling and early education in nurseries and kindergartens. Nowadays we can safely say that families will benefit financially from choosing the early start for formal education for their children, while it would not cause any development and psychological issues for toddlers. Those people, who prefer to keep their children at home till they turn 7 years old, argue that children might suffer from the separation. In addition to that, small chidren are extremely valnurable and can not protect themeselves from abuse, they might even not being able to recognize it and articulate to their caretakers. So parents hope to protect their children well-being by keeping them home. All arguments mentioned above do hold water and children do sometimes experience abuse, however it does not mean that modern society can not arrange the safe environment for children outside home and there are pleanty safe and enjoyable kindergartens all around the world. Scientists also have proved that there are no advantages for children development if they stayed home during pre-school years. At the same time having children till the age of 7 in home has a super detremental impact on women human capital and earnings. Long maternity leaves are considered to be one of the key reasons for the persistent gender pay gap. So women will gain a lot for returning back to office as soon as possible. In conclusion I argue that if there are no disadvantages for children if they are sent early to educational institutions and at the same time mothers might gain a lot for choosing that option than it could be considered the most optimal.
Over the last century the attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
education and optimal upbringing strategies has evolved beyond any wildest expectations of our
Possible spelling mistake found.
ancectors
. This has
been driven
by social and
Possible spelling mistake found.
demographical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
as well
as by scientific research on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
development and psychology.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake found.
srategies
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
in various countries, including long-term homeschooling and early education in nurseries and kindergartens. Nowadays we can
safely
say that families will benefit
financially
from choosing the early
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
for formal education for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, while it would not cause any development and psychological issues for toddlers. Those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home till they turn 7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might suffer from the separation.
In addition
to that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Possible spelling mistake found.
chidren
are
extremely
Possible spelling mistake found.
valnurable
and can not protect
Possible spelling mistake found.
themeselves
from abuse, they might even not being able to recognize it and articulate to their caretakers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
parents hope to protect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
well-being by keeping them home. All arguments mentioned above do hold water and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
experience abuse,
however
it does not mean that modern society can not arrange the safe environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
outside home and there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
pleanty
safe and enjoyable kindergartens all around the world. Scientists
also
have proved that there are no advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
development if they stayed home during
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-school
years. At the same time having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
till the age of 7 in home has a super
Possible spelling mistake found.
detremental
impact on women human capital and earnings. Long maternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
are considered
to be one of the key reasons for the persistent gender pay gap.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
women will gain a lot for
Consider using "returning".
returning back
to office as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
argue that if there are no disadvantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
early to educational institutions and at the same time mothers might gain a lot for choosing that option than it could
be considered
the most optimal.
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IELTS academic Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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