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The given bar graph illustrates the rate of graduates who gained employment within the first half a year of graduation over seven branches of learning in the years 1995 and 2005 in Moldovia.

The given bar graph illustrates the rate of graduates who gained employment within the first half a year of graduation over seven branches of learning in the years 1995 and 2005 in Moldovia. q2Gd
The given bar graph illustrates the rate of graduates who gained employment within the first half a year of graduation over seven branches of learning in the years 1995 and 2005 in Moldovia. In general, the rate of students who become employed after graduating from university has declined, except for the percentage of graduates who studied Computer Science and Science. In 1995, the ratio of graduates of Arts faculty who gained employment was the least compared to the other branches of learning, because only approximately 55% of their students found employment. But in 2005 statistics degraded even more, by having a big drop of about 15%. The same decreasing trend goes for Engineering, Teaching, Law, and Business. In 1995 Computer Science had the most employment rate due to having 90% employed graduates. In the same year, the Science faculty didn't have the big percentages of students gaining employment. It had approximately 65% of students who obtained employment. But in 2005 both Computer Science and Science had a slight rise.
The
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given
bar graph illustrates the rate of
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graduates
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who
gained
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employment
within the
first
half a year of graduation over seven branches of learning in the years 1995 and 2005 in
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Moldovia
.
In general
, the rate of
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students
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who
become employed after graduating from university has declined,
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except for
the percentage of
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graduates
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who
studied Computer
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Science
and Science.

In 1995, the ratio of
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graduates
of Arts faculty
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who
gained
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employment
was the least compared to the other branches of learning,
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because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
approximately 55% of their
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students
found
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employment
.
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But
in 2005 statistics degraded even more, by having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
drop of about 15%. The same decreasing trend goes for Engineering, Teaching, Law, and Business.

In 1995 Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
had the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
rate due to having 90% employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
. In the same year, the
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Science
faculty didn't have the
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big
percentages of
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students
gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employment
. It had approximately 65% of
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students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
obtained
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employment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in 2005 both Computer
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Science
and
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Science
had a slight rise.
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IELTS academic The given bar graph illustrates the rate of graduates who gained employment within the first half a year of graduation over seven branches of learning in the years 1995 and 2005 in Moldovia.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
169 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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