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the chart below shows the percentage of unemployed recent graduates and young non-graduates age 21 to 30 between 1990 and 2015.

the chart below shows the percentage of unemployed recent graduates and young non-graduates age 21 to 30 between 1990 and 2015. 36pX
The line graph illustrates the percentage of unemployed recent graduates and young non-graduates aged 21 to 30 in the years between 1990 and the next 15 years 2015. Overall, most of the changes have taken place in the middle years of the graph chart, with gradual fluctuation so that in the year 2015 we will reach a per cent the same as the year 1990. The percentage of unemployed in the two groups decreased gradually in the first years between 1990 to 1995. On the other hand, there was a sharp rise in the recent years of the chart between 2010 to 2015 but we will reach about 10% for the unemployed recent graduates and a less than a fifth for the unemployed young non-graduates. In addition, there was a sharp fall in both groups of recent graduates and young non-graduates in the years between 1995 to 2000 which the percentage of unemployed recent graduates and non-graduates will reach a small number of them. In reverse, the percentage of unemployed recent graduates remained unchanged between the years 2000 and 2010. In contrast in the opposite group, there was a slight fall in the years between 2000 to 2005. however, the percentage of young non-graduates grew steadily between the years 2005 to 2010.
The line graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
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unemployed
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recent
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graduates
and
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young
non-graduates aged 21 to 30 in the years between 1990 and the
next
15 years 2015.

Overall
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have taken place in the middle years of the graph chart, with gradual fluctuation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that in the
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year
2015 we will reach a per cent the same as the
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year
1990.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
in the two groups decreased
gradually
in the
first
years
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1990 and 1995".
between 1990 to 1995
.
On the other hand
, there was a sharp rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
years of the chart
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2010 and 2015".
between 2010 to 2015
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we will reach about 10% for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and a less than a fifth for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
non-graduates.
In addition
, there was a sharp fall in both groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and
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young
non-graduates in the years
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1995 and 2000".
between 1995 to 2000
which the
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and non-graduates will reach a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of them. In reverse, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
remained unchanged between the years 2000 and 2010.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
in the opposite group, there was a slight fall in the years
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2000 and 2005".
between 2000 to 2005
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
non-graduates grew
steadily
between the years 2005 to 2010.
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IELTS academic the chart below shows the percentage of unemployed recent graduates and young non-graduates age 21 to 30 between 1990 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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