Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The given bar charts illustrate the percentage of power used by an average household and the proportion of the greenhouse emissions produced by energy usage in Australia.

The given bar charts illustrate the percentage of power used by an average household and the proportion of the greenhouse emissions produced by energy usage in Australia. r11n2
Overall, it can be obviously seen from the diagrams that heating dominates the highest rate in power consumption and it is the key driver of greenhouse gas emission as well. To begin with, heating and water heating account for 42% and 30%, respectively. Other appliances make up less than a fifth percent and refrigeration, at 7%. Whereas 2% and 4% of the energy consumption are spent on cooling and lighting. However, it is noticeable that heating requires more energy, it produces less gas, at 15%. Water heating is negligibly at the same rate as in the second pie chart, making up 32% of the total. And the figure for other categories namely cooling, lighting, other appliances, and refrigeration are doubled in greenhouse gas emitting.
Overall
, it can be
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the diagrams that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
dominates the highest rate in power consumption and it is the key driver of greenhouse gas emission
as well
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
account for 42% and 30%,
respectively
. Other appliances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up less than a fifth percent and refrigeration, at 7%. Whereas 2% and 4% of the energy consumption
are spent
on cooling and lighting.
However
, it is noticeable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
requires more energy, it produces less gas, at 15%. Water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is
negligibly
at the same rate as in the second pie chart, making up 32% of the total. And the figure for other categories
namely
cooling, lighting, other appliances, and refrigeration
are doubled
in greenhouse gas emitting.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The given bar charts illustrate the percentage of power used by an average household and the proportion of the greenhouse emissions produced by energy usage in Australia.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The given bar charts illustrate the percentage of power used by an average household and the proportion of the greenhouse emissions produced by energy usage in Australia.