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The given bar chart illustrates information about how many hours adolescents in Chester spent on seven different activities

The given bar chart illustrates information about how many hours adolescents in Chester spent on seven different activities ( going to pubs/discos, watching television, shopping, doing homework, doing sport, watching DVDs, and bowling) each week between 2002 and 2007. Overall, it is explicitly viewed that throughout the entire period, young people preferred watching television the most while the least preferred activity was bowling. Except of the increase in going to pubs in 2007, the remaining pursuits experienced a similar tendency. Initially, it is conspicuous that time spent on watching television outraced the other domains with almost the least 25 hours the most 38 hours over the period given. On the contrary, bowling showed the least trend, clustering between just about 1 and slightly under 5 hours. Turning towards the remaining five domains, apart from 2007, time allotted for watching DVDs was the leading activity. Furthermore, time spent on shopping gradual increased, reaching to 15 hours whereas both pursuits, doing homework and doing sports, fluctuated to dip. Unlike that, preference of going to pubs had an increase between almost 7 and 12 hours, and then dramatically went up until reaching to less than 20 hours.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates information about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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hours
adolescents in Chester spent on seven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities
Don’t put a space after the opening parenthesis.
(
going to pubs/discos, watching television, shopping,
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doing
homework,
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doing
sport, watching DVDs, and bowling) each week between 2002 and 2007.

Overall
, it is
explicitly
viewed that throughout the entire period, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
preferred watching television the most while the least preferred activity was bowling. Except of the increase in going to pubs in 2007, the remaining pursuits experienced a similar tendency.

Initially
, it is conspicuous that time spent on watching television outraced the other domains with almost the least 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
the most 38
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
On the contrary
, bowling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the least trend, clustering between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 1 and
slightly
under 5 hours.

Turning towards the remaining five domains, apart from 2007, time allotted for watching DVDs was the leading activity.
Furthermore
, time spent on shopping gradual increased, reaching to 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
whereas both pursuits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
homework and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
sports, fluctuated to dip. Unlike that, preference of going to pubs had an increase between almost 7 and 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, and then
dramatically
went up until reaching to less than 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.

IELTS academic The given bar chart illustrates information about how many hours adolescents in Chester spent on seven different activities

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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