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The given bar chart illustrates information about how much money was made from international disposals of four digital games,

The given bar chart illustrates information about how much money was made from international disposals of four digital games, namely, mobile phone games, online games, console games, and handheld games between 2000 and 2006. Units are measured in the dollar. Overall, it is explicitly viewed that handheld games were the leading of sales considerably over the period. Additionally, the console games continued to gradual decrease while neither of the mobile phone games and the online games had any sales in 2000 whereas both the games experienced an increase at the end of the period. Inıtially, it is conspicuous that the handheld games outraced significantly the remaining games, accounting for an income just under 12 $ at the first year, and reached almost 18$ by steadily rising throughout the entire period. Turning towards the other games, despite the selling of the console games was required by 6 $ in 2000, and then experienced a decrease, reaching a low of about 3 $ in 2006 this as opposed to almost half of the selling of the remaining games. Furthermore, the mobile phone games, which its sellings started in 2002, came up with relatively online games in the final year.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates information about how much money
was made
from international disposals of four digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
namely
, mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, and handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
between 2000 and 2006. Units
are measured
in the dollar.

Overall
, it is
explicitly
viewed that handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were the leading of sales
considerably
over the period.
Additionally
, the console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
continued to gradual decrease while neither of the mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
had any sales in 2000 whereas both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
experienced an increase at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

Inı
tially
, it is conspicuous that the handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
outraced
significantly
the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, accounting for an income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: “$12”.
12 $
at the
first
year, and reached almost
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: “$18”.
18$
by
steadily
rising throughout the entire period.

Turning towards the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, despite the selling of the console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
was required
by
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: “$6”.
6 $
in 2000, and then experienced a decrease, reaching a low of about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: “$3”.
3 $
in 2006 this as opposed to almost half of the selling of the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Furthermore
, the mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, which its
Possible spelling mistake found.
sellings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in 2002, came up with
relatively
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in the final year.

IELTS academic The given bar chart illustrates information about how much money was made from international disposals of four digital games,

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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