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The following diagram shows a typical process followed in cheese making.

The following diagram shows a typical process followed in cheese making. Ore27
The diagram represnts the process of preparing ripened cheese from raw milk with the steps involved in itt Overall, the ripened cheese is prepared from raw milk, the process includes various stages using traditional ways and also by using modern ways by using machenary. In the first half of the process raw milk is converted to curd and latter from curd it is taken through various steps to form ripened cheese. First, the raw milk is passed through pasteurization stage. in the second stage it is passed from filtration and standardization into a contaner from coagurlation in simple terms curdling this type of method is used in most cheese making. But there is also a traditional method in which milk is sent into a cyclindracal type of container where fermenting organisms occures after that using inoculation it is sent to coagulation along with rennet. The coagulation also know as curdling contains curds and whey. After this using cutting, stirring and cooking the whey is removed by draining and left with only curds. With the curds the fresh cheese is formed by milling and salting. The fresh cheese is than pored into molds. These molds are sent using convarour belts to the next process on this the molds are pressed hard so the the additional whey is drained off. In the next stage the compressed molds without whey are arranged in shelfs and left for some time so that the ripening occurs. After this cheese formed is repened cheese.
The diagram
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represnts
the
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process
of preparing ripened
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cheese
from
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raw
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milk
with the steps involved in
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itt


Overall
, the ripened
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cheese
is prepared
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
includes various
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stages
using traditional ways and
also
by using modern ways by using
Possible spelling mistake found.
machenary
. In the
first
half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is converted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curd
and latter from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curd
it
is taken
through various steps to form ripened cheese.

First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is passed
through pasteurization
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stage
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the second
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stage
it
is passed
from filtration and standardization into a
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contaner
from
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coagurlation
in simple terms curdling this type of method is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in most
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cheese
making.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is
also
a traditional method in which
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milk
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
into a
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cyclindracal
type of container where fermenting organisms
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occures
after that using inoculation it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to coagulation along with rennet. The coagulation
also
Did you mean "known"?
know
as curdling contains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curds
and whey. After this using cutting, stirring and cooking the whey
is removed
by draining and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
curds.

With the
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curds
the fresh
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cheese
is formed
by milling and salting. The fresh
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cheese
is than pored into
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molds
. These
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molds
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
using
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convarour
belts to the
next
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process
on this the
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molds
are pressed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
additional whey
is drained
off. In the
next
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stage
the compressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
molds
without whey
are arranged
in
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "shelves", the plural form of the noun 'shelf'?
shelfs
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the ripening occurs.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
this
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cheese
formed is
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repened
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cheese
.
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IELTS academic The following diagram shows a typical process followed in cheese making.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
248 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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