Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The first pie chart shows the percentages of energy usage in different purposes in Australia and the other chart shows he greenhouse gas emission causing from this usage.

The first pie chart shows the percentages of energy usage in different purposes in Australia and the other chart shows he greenhouse gas emission causing from this usage. e0jJ
The first pie chart shows the percentages of energy usage in six different purposes for an average Australian household and the next pie chart shows the greenhouse gas emission yielding from this usage. On average a household in Australia consumes most of the energy for ‘heating’ and one third for ‘water heating’. Additionally, the second pie chart complements the information by showing that ‘water heating’ is the primary reason for greenhouse gas emissions. Whereas, heating is only 15% of the second chart. ‘Cooling’ holds the lowest percentage in the charts. ‘Water heating’ in both the pie charts stand 30% and 32% respectively. On the other hand, ‘cooling’ is 2% of the energy usage in an Australian household and 3% of the causes leading to greenhouse gas emissions. Other purposes hold unimpressive positions, lower than 15% in both the charts. Exceptionally ‘other appliances’ is the second highest reason for greenhouse gas emissions that is 28% of the chart. We can conclude that Australians use ‘heating’ the most on average although the main reason for the resulting greenhouse gas emission is ‘water heating’.
The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the percentages of energy usage in six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes for an average Australian household and the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
yielding from this usage.

On average a household in Australia consumes most of the energy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘heating’
and one third for ‘water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating’
.
Additionally
, the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
complements the information by showing that ‘water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating’
is the primary reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% of the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
. ‘Cooling’ holds the lowest percentage in the charts.

‘Water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating’
in both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
stand 30% and 32%
respectively
.
On the other hand
, ‘cooling’ is 2% of the energy usage in an Australian household and 3% of the causes leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
. Other purposes hold unimpressive positions, lower than 15% in both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
.
Exceptionally
‘other appliances’ is the second highest reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
that is
28% of the chart.

We can conclude that Australians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘heating’
the most on average although the main reason for the resulting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
is ‘water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating’
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The first pie chart shows the percentages of energy usage in different purposes in Australia and the other chart shows he greenhouse gas emission causing from this usage.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The first pie chart shows the percentages of energy usage in different purposes in Australia and the other chart shows he greenhouse gas emission causing from this usage.