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The graph illustrated how often people purchase different types of coffee in various parts of Australia.

The graph illustrated how often people purchase different types of coffee in various parts of Australia. N9J0
The graph illustrated how often people purchase different types of coffee in various parts of Australia. For the case of having fresh coffee, in Sydney has approximately 43% of city habitant and in Melbourne has around 41. 5% which is almost similar to Sydney. Brisbane & Adelaide has nearly similar number of residants of about 34% buying fresh coffee. But this percentage is considerably less than from that of Sydney and Melbourne. In case of Hobart, the percentage is nearly 38% which is moderately less than Sydney & Melbourne but higher than Brisbane & Adelaide. For the next option of buying instant coffee, Brisbane and Hobart shows the highest purchase whereas Sydney shows the lowest. The other two cities has almost the same number and this around 48% and 49% Melbourne and Adelaide respectively. Finally for the last option that shows number of people wento cafe for coffee/tea. In Sydney and Melbourne, this percentage has increased enormously compared to the previous options and also shows the highest percentage than the other cities. In Brisbane and Hobart around 55. 5% and 63% citizens went to cafe for coffee. The graph shows there is a slight decrease in percentage comparetively than the first two options in Adelaide which is nearly 49%. In conclusion, the survey depicts that highest number of citizen went to cafe for coffee in all four cities except Adelaide.
The graph illustrated how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in various parts of Australia. For the case of having fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
, in Sydney has approximately 43% of city habitant and in Melbourne has around 41. 5% which is almost similar to Sydney. Brisbane & Adelaide has
nearly
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
residants
of about 34% buying fresh
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coffee
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is
considerably
less than from that of Sydney and Melbourne. In case of Hobart, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is
nearly
38% which is
moderately
less than Sydney & Melbourne
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
higher than Brisbane & Adelaide. For the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
of buying instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
, Brisbane and Hobart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
the highest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
whereas Sydney
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
the lowest. The other two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has almost the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
and this around 48% and 49% Melbourne and Adelaide
respectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
for the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
wento
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for coffee/tea. In Sydney and Melbourne, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
has increased
enormously
compared to the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
than the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. In Brisbane and Hobart around 55. 5% and 63% citizens went to
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
. The graph
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
there is a slight decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
Possible spelling mistake found.
comparetively
than the
first
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
in Adelaide which is
nearly
49%.
In conclusion
, the survey depicts that highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of citizen went to
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in all four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
except Adelaide.
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IELTS academic The graph illustrated how often people purchase different types of coffee in various parts of Australia.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
230 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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