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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Given are two pie charts illustrating the percentage of energy consumed by different household appliances in Australian houses, as well as the proportion of greenhouse gas emission rate caused by this equipment. Overall, it is evident that the most significant percentage of energy is expended for heating, including both water and weather heating, which in turn contribute to the largest proportion of hazardous emission. With regard to the greatest energy consumers, heating accounts for the highest distribution of energy usage rate, with 42%, followed by water heating equipment, which makes up around one-third of whole energy used. However, the amount of energy consumed by water heating appliance lead to the most significant percentage of harmful emission rate, by 32%, and heating appliance emit 15% of whole greenhouse gas, standing at the third biggest category. According to low-power household appliances, cooling equipment constituted the least amount of energy usage rate, with 2%, emitting 3% of whole harmful gas emission. Meanwhile, lighting and refrigeration are the second and third least consumers of energy, by 4 and 7 percent respectively, releasing about one-fifth of whole dangerous emission altogether. Finally, while other appliances comprise 15 percent of whole energy consumed in house, which is the third largest consumer, the quantity of detrimental gases discharged by them into the atmosphere account for about one-third of whole emission, regarded as the second biggest emitter.
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Given
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: “is”.
are
two pie charts illustrating the percentage of
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energy
consumed by
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different
household
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appliances
in Australian
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houses
,
as well
as the proportion of greenhouse gas
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emission
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rate
caused by this equipment.

Overall
, it is evident that the most significant percentage of
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energy
is expended
for
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heating
, including both water and weather
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heating
, which in turn contribute to the largest proportion of hazardous emission.

With regard to the greatest
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energy
consumers,
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heating
accounts for the highest distribution of
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energy
usage
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rate
, with 42%, followed by water
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heating
equipment, which
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makes
up around one-third of
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whole
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energy
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used
.
However
, the amount of
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energy
consumed by water
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heating
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appliance
lead to the most significant percentage of harmful
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emission
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rate
, by 32%, and
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heating
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appliance
emit 15% of
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whole
greenhouse gas, standing at the third biggest category.

According to low-power household
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appliances
, cooling equipment constituted the least amount of
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energy
usage
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rate
, with 2%, emitting 3% of
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whole
harmful gas
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emission
. Meanwhile, lighting and refrigeration are the second and third least consumers of
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energy
, by 4 and 7 percent
respectively
, releasing about one-fifth of
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whole
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dangerous
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emission
altogether.
Finally
, while other
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appliances
comprise 15 percent of
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whole
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energy
consumed in
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house
, which is the third largest consumer, the quantity of detrimental gases discharged by them into the atmosphere account for about one-third of
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whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
, regarded as the second biggest emitter.
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IELTS academic The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from energy use.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emission which result from energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.