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The evaluation of Hor foot structure changes.

The evaluation of Hor foot structure changes. lWJjo
The ostensible diagrams details the information about the variations which were witnessed by foot structure of horse in different time periods. To start with, 40 million years ago the body shape of horse was alike, a goat with tiny tale and its foot structure was almost similar to the shape of human fingers. So, the name of this kind of horse was Echippus. After that, horse was called as Mesohippus, in 30 million years ago. The growth in body size was experienced by it with not only slightly large tale but also with few growth of hairs on its neck. Its foot was also changed with largest size of one finger in between the left or right side smallest ones. Turning to the remaining evolution information of the horse is that Merychippus type of horse was developed, 15 million years ago with more escalation in whole body, tale as well as in hairs upon the neck, however the claw of this horse was much bigger, in comparison of 40 and 30 million years ago because it has medium shaped fingers located in left or right side with longer one in between them. Finally, modern horse was came with perfect entire body development also in unique shape of foot structure. Looking from an overall perspective, it can be readily apparent that there were number of changes had been faced by foot structure of horse before developing in modern class.
The ostensible diagrams
You should probably use "detail".
details
the information about the variations which
were witnessed
by foot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
time periods.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years ago the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
shape of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
was alike, a goat with tiny tale and its foot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
was almost similar to the shape of human fingers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the name of this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
Echippus
. After that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
was called
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mesohippus
, in 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years ago. The growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
size
was experienced
by it with not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
slightly
large tale
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with
Possible agreement error. The noun growth seems to be countable; consider using: "few growths".
few growth
of hairs on its neck. Its foot was
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the largest".
largest
size of one finger in between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
or right side smallest ones. Turning to the remaining evolution information of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Merychippus
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
was developed
, 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years ago with more escalation in whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
, tale
as well
as in hairs upon the neck,
however
the claw of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
was much bigger,
in comparison
of 40 and 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has medium shaped fingers located in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
or right side with longer one in between them.
Finally
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
was came with perfect entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
development
also
in unique shape of foot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it can be
readily
apparent that there were number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
had
been faced
by foot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
developing in modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
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IELTS academic The evaluation of Hor foot structure changes.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
238 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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