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The diagrams below sive information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.

The diagrams below sive information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies. eDN7

The given diagram illustrates that there are a number of processes in preparing production of frozen fish pies. Overall it can be clearly seen that, according to picture main ingredients are fish, potatoes and souce as well as there are the steps involved in the product preparation and package of products. To begin with, the potatoes which may have been up to mounth are cleaned and peeled. In the next stage, it is cut into slices and the slices are boiled and then it is chilled before being stored carefully. Coming to the fish preparation, Fistly salmon is added with salt and lemon juice. Afterwards, it is cooked by being steamed. Then the skin and bones are removed by hand before it is controlled visually quality of work. At the next point, the pies and souce which have already been prepared are added to fish. And they are wrapped into boxes and frozen. Finally the production are ready for dispatch or it may be stored at the factory

The This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
 diagram illustrates that there are a number of processes in preparing production of frozen fish pies. Overall
 it can be clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnessed
seen
 that, according to picture main ingredients are fish, potatoes and Possible spelling mistake found.sourcesaucesouse
souce
as well
 as there are the steps involved in the product preparation and package of products. To This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiatecommence
begin
 with, the potatoes which may have been up to mounth are cleaned
 and peeled. In the next
 stage, it is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :minimize
cut
 into slices and the slices are boiled
 and then it is chilled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
being stored
carefully
. Coming to the fish preparation, Possible spelling mistake found.FirstlyFitly
Fistly
 salmon is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accrued
added
 with salt and lemon juice. Afterwards, it is cooked
 by being steamed
. Then the skin and bones are removed
 by hand This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 it is controlled
visually
 quality of work. At the next
 point, the pies and Possible spelling mistake found.sourcesaucesouse
souce
 which have already been prepared
 are This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accrued
added
 to fish. And they are wrapped
 into boxes and frozen. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Finally,
Finally
 the production are ready for dispatch or it may be stored
 at the Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphfactory.factory!factory?factory:factory,factory;
factory

IELTS academic The diagrams below sive information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.

Academic

American English

1 paragraphs

167 words

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 5.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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