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The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The illustrative diagrams portray the process of cement production and how it is used in the concrete production Overall, there are 6 steps involved in cement production. The process starts when limestone and clay are crushed and ends with packaging of the ready product. Moreover, the mixture of a cement, water, sand and gravel is included to produce concrete. Initially, limestone and clay pass through the crusher together to make a powder. This powder then combined in the mixer and pass into the rotating heater which has constant heater on the one side of tube. Then the mixture is powdered in grinder to make cement. The ready product is packaged at the end. According to the second diagram, concrete contains of mainly gravel, which is small stones and this accounts for 50% of ingredients. The other materials are cement(15%), water(10%), and sand(25%). All of these are mixed and rotated in concrete mixer to produce concrete.
The illustrative diagrams portray the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
production and how it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the concrete production

Overall
, there are 6 steps involved

in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
production. The process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
when limestone and clay
are crushed
and ends with packaging of the ready product.
Moreover
, the mixture of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, water, sand and gravel
is included
to produce concrete.
Initially
, limestone and clay pass through the crusher together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a powder. This powder then combined in the mixer and pass into the rotating heater which has constant heater on the one side of tube. Then the mixture
is powdered
in grinder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
. The ready product
is packaged
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

According to the second diagram, concrete contains of
mainly
gravel, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones and this accounts for 50% of ingredients. The other materials are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement(15%)
, water(10%), and sand(25%). All of these
are mixed
and rotated in concrete mixer to produce concrete.
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IELTS academic The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
155 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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