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The Diagrams Below Show the Life Cycle of a Species of Large Fish Called the Salmon

The Diagrams Below Show the Life Cycle of a Species of Large Fish Called the Salmon rG7a2
The diagrams illustrate a pattern in which a sort of large fish named salmon went by. Overall, the process consists of three stages, beginning with eggs hatch into fry and ending up with adult salmon travelling to upper rivers. In the first step, adult salmon ovelate eggs in the upper river where the water is moving slowly and lamb there under small stones covered by reeds. After approximtly 5 to 6 months, salmon eggs hatch to young fishes called fries of 3 to 8 cm. This fries travel to lower river in which the flux of water is fast and survive there for almost 4 years before becoming smolts consist of 12 to 15 cm. In the next stage, smolts change their place from lower river to open sea to survive there for 5 years and grow into adult salmons of 70 to 76 cm. Subsequently, this adults undergo the process of ovulationg eggs in the upper rivers again which make this process a king of a closed loop.
The diagrams illustrate a pattern in which a sort of large fish named salmon went by.
Overall
, the process consists of three stages, beginning with eggs hatch into fry and ending up with adult salmon travelling to upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rivers
. In the
first
step, adult salmon
Possible spelling mistake found.
ovelate
eggs in the upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
where the water is moving
slowly
and lamb there under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones covered by reeds. After
Possible spelling mistake found.
approximtly
5 to 6 months, salmon eggs hatch to young fishes called fries of 3 to 8 cm.
Did you mean "these"?
This
fries travel to lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
in which the flux of water is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and survive there for almost 4 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
becoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolts
consist of 12 to 15 cm. In the
next
stage,
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their place from lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
to open sea to survive there for 5 years and grow into adult salmons of 70 to 76 cm.
Subsequently
,
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
undergo the process of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ovulationg
eggs in the upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rivers
again which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this process a king of a closed loop.
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IELTS academic The Diagrams Below Show the Life Cycle of a Species of Large Fish Called the Salmon

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
169 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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