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The diagrams below illustrate the phases and tools used in the creating of cement, and how cement is made to manufacturing concrete for building.

The diagrams below illustrate the phases and tools used in the creating of cement, and how cement is made to manufacturing concrete for building. m11eA
The diagrams below illustrate the phases and tools used in the creating of cement, and how cement is made to manufacturing concrete for building. Overall, we can see 2 diagrams, one with process how to creating cement, and the process of mixing some materials, liquids in the concrete mixer by the second picture. Firstly, limestone with the clay are gone into crusher, then powder from crusher are followed to mixer and rotating heater are heated up them and as a result are sent to the grinder which are become a cement. Finally, these cement are packed in the bags. Concrete production start with the cement of 15 percent that is gone to the concrete mixer with necessary additive such as water with 10 percent, sand with 25 percent, cement with 15 percent, and gravel which is small stones with 50 percent. Furthermore, all of these materials are mixed by mixer to make a concrete.
The diagrams below illustrate the phases and tools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the creating of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is made
to manufacturing concrete for building.

Overall
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
2 diagrams, one with process how to creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, and the process of mixing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
materials, liquids in the concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixer
by the second picture.

Firstly
, limestone with the clay
are gone
into crusher, then powder from crusher
are followed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixer
and rotating heater
are heated
up them and
as a result
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the grinder which
are become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
.
Finally
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
are packed
in the bags.

Concrete production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
of 15
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percent
that
is gone
to the concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixer
with necessary additive such as water with 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, sand with 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
with 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, and gravel which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones with 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Furthermore
, all of these materials
are mixed
by
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mixer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a concrete.
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IELTS academic The diagrams below illustrate the phases and tools used in the creating of cement, and how cement is made to manufacturing concrete for building.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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