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The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. ljj3o
The given bar graph compares the citizens expenditure on three categories like food and drink, restaurant and hotel and entertainment by different age group of British citizens in the year 2004. Overall, food and drink is the around 23 % in the highest use of age of above 76. whereas restaurant and hotel is the 14% in highest use of age under 30 and entertainment is the about 6% of lowest use in the age of under 30. Food and drink is the steadily increase to the age by age to around 6% in age of under 30, around 12% in age of 31-45 & increased to the age groups of 46-60, 61-75 and above 76 which is around 16%, 20% and about 23%. Restaurant and hotel is the 14% around age of under 30. While the figures for same about 13% up to the age groups below 60 years.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph compares the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "citizens'" or "citizen's"?
citizens
expenditure on three categories like food and drink, restaurant and hotel and entertainment by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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age
group of British citizens in the year 2004.
Overall
, food and drink is the
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around
23 % in the highest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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age
of above 76.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
restaurant and hotel is the 14% in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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age
under 30 and entertainment is the about 6% of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the
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age
of under 30. Food and drink is the
steadily
increase to the
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age
by
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age
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
6% in
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age
of under 30,
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around
12% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 31-45 & increased to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups of 46-60, 61-75 and above 76 which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
16%, 20% and about 23%. Restaurant and hotel is the 14%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of under 30. While the figures for same about 13% up to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups below 60 years.

IELTS academic The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
150 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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