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the diagram shows the process of canning pears

the diagram shows the process of canning pears jobEM
. The given diagram demonstrates the process for canning pears. Overall, we can see clearly that there is a total of 12 steps in this process, starting with hand picking and ending with despatch the cans in various markets. In the beginning, pears are picked by hand and transported for washing and quality checking. In the next step, pears are sent off to the cold store. Then the pears are graded in level and chopped into small pieces after peeling its outer layers. Now the slices are ready to be put into cans, which are then sealed. Following this, the cans are cooked at a temperature that is high enough to cook the fruit and sterilize the cans. Once this has been done, the cans are labeled and then placed in storage. Finally, the finished product can be dispatched to the different supermarkets and shops.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram demonstrates the process for canning pears.

Overall
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
clearly
that there is a total of 12 steps in this process, starting with
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hand picking
and ending with despatch the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
in various markets.

In the beginning, pears
are picked
by hand and transported for washing and quality checking. In the
next
step, pears are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
off to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
store. Then the pears
are graded
in level and chopped into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
pieces after peeling its outer layers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the slices are ready to
be put
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
, which are then sealed. Following this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are cooked
at a temperature
that is
high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cook the fruit and sterilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
. Once this has
been done
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are labeled
and then placed in storage.
Finally
, the finished product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
can
be
Do not mix variants of the same word ('dispatch' and 'despatch') within a single text.
dispatched
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
supermarkets and shops.
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IELTS academic the diagram shows the process of canning pears

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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