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The diagram shows the life circle of a salmon

The diagram shows the life circle of a salmon 2Kp8X
The diagrams simulate a natural circular process in which salmon mature from jelly-like eggs to fully grown salmon. Overall, salmon experience significant changes, in which there are two main stages: growing up and completing maturation to spawn. As observed, the female salmon chooses the best spot to lay a massive number of eggs, then incubated for about three months. These eggs hatch into alevin, which feeds on yolk-sac for several weeks before turning into fry. Once fry is about several months old, they grow up and develop "finger" markings, becoming parr. Having reached the age of one to three, they become smolt, forming into groups and heading out to explore the sea, turning to adults. By the time adult salmon have spent one to eight years at sea, the spawning process will start as long as optimal conditions.
The diagrams simulate a natural circular process in which salmon mature from jelly-like eggs to
fully
grown salmon.

Overall
, salmon experience significant
changes
, in which there are two main stages: growing up and completing maturation to spawn.

As observed, the female salmon chooses the best spot to lay a massive number of eggs, then incubated for about three months. These eggs hatch into
alevin
, which feeds on yolk-sac for several weeks
before
turning into fry. Once fry is about several months
old
, they grow up and develop
"
finger
"
markings, becoming
parr
.

Having reached the age of one to three, they
become smolt
, forming into groups and heading out to explore the sea, turning to adults. By the time adult salmon have spent one to eight years at sea, the spawning process will
start
as long as optimal conditions.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows the life circle of a salmon

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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