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The diagram shows how much different kinds of junk food were consumed in a country in Mauritian from 1985 to 2015.

The diagram shows how much different kinds of junk food were consumed in a country in Mauritian from 1985 to 2015. Pk7Rd
The diagram shows how much different kinds of junk food were consumed in a country in Mauritian from 1985 to 2015. Overall, although hamburgers are the most popular type of fast food. Another popular type of fast food is fried chicken. It was replaced by hamburgers towards the end of the period. The consumption of fried chicken decreased while pizza remained the least preferred type of junk food throughout the entire period. In the first year, hamburgers were the most popular type of fast food with a consumption of about 10 times eaten per year. Then this figure grows up and reaches the peak at the point of 70 times of eaten per year. The figure for fried chicken is initially almost as high as for hamburgers ( around 5 times eaten per year). However, reaching a peak at 60 times eaten per year, the rate of consumption of fried chicken decreased. Pizza consumption was originally approximately 60 and experienced a small fall of up to 10 times eaten per year. Thus, it can be concluded that the consumption of hamburgers and fried chicken increased from 1985 to 2015, while consumer demand for pizza decreased.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how much
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different
kinds of junk
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food
were consumed
in a country in Mauritian from 1985 to 2015.

Overall
, although hamburgers are the most popular
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type
of
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Another popular
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type
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fried
chicken. It
was replaced
by hamburgers towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fried
chicken decreased while pizza remained the least preferred
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type
of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
throughout the entire period.

In the
first
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year
, hamburgers were the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
with a
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consumption
of about 10
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times
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eaten
per
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year
. Then this figure grows up and reaches the peak at the point of 70
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times
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
per year.

The figure for
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fried
chicken is
initially
almost as high as for hamburgers
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
around 5
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times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
per
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year)
.
However
, reaching a peak at 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fried
chicken decreased.

Pizza
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consumption
was
originally
approximately 60 and experienced a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fall of up to 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
per year.

Thus
, it can
be concluded
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of hamburgers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fried
chicken increased from 1985 to 2015, while consumer demand for pizza decreased.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows how much different kinds of junk food were consumed in a country in Mauritian from 1985 to 2015.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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