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The diagram presents the manufacture of five different types of tea. It is immediately apparent that although all the teas are produced from the same leaf, the differences in the manufacturing process result in five different types of tea.

The diagram presents the manufacture of five different types of tea. It is immediately apparent that although all the teas are produced from the same leaf, the differences in the manufacturing process result in five different types of tea. NwpwN
The given diagram illustrates the process of attaining five different types of tea. Overall, the production process comprises of 5 stages beginning from plucking of the tea leaves to finally subjecting it to over drying. To begin with, the farmers pluck the tea leaves which is followed by the process of withering. Uptil this the process remains the same for obtaining all tea types. We can observe that white tea does not need any additional processing and is only oven dried before its ready for consumption. Moving on to other tea types, for Green tea, leaves undergo steaming and shares the next stage of rolling along with the leaves prepared for making OOlong and large black leaf tea. While oolong tea needs only slight fermentation the big leaf black tea undergoes full fermentation. After this, all the leaves are sent across to get oven dried. Finally for the last tea variant, wilted leaves are crushed and fully fermented before getting oven dried to produce small black leaf tea.
The
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given
diagram illustrates the
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process
of attaining five
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different
types of tea.

Overall
, the production
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process
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
5 stages beginning from plucking

of the
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tea
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leaves
to
finally
subjecting it to over drying.

To
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begin
with, the farmers pluck the
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tea
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leaves
which
is followed
by the
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process
of withering.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uptil
this

the
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process
remains the same for obtaining all
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tea
types. We can observe that white
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tea
does not need any

additional processing and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
oven dried
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before
its ready for consumption. Moving on to other
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tea
types,

for Green
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tea
,
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leaves
undergo steaming and shares the
next
stage of rolling along with the
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leaves
prepared for making

Possible spelling mistake found.
OOlong
and large black leaf
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tea
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
Possible spelling mistake found.
oolong
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tea
needs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
slight fermentation the
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big
leaf black
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tea
undergoes full fermentation.

After this, all the
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leaves
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
across to
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get
oven dried.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
for the last
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tea
variant, wilted
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leaves
are crushed
and
fully
fermented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting

oven dried to produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
black leaf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
.
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IELTS academic The diagram presents the manufacture of five different types of tea. It is immediately apparent that although all the teas are produced from the same leaf, the differences in the manufacturing process result in five different types of tea.

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
168 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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