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The bar chart compares how many trips children made to the school and back home with various types of transpor

The bar chart compares how many trips children made to the school and back home with various types of transpor 2K0xo
The bar chart compares how many trips children made to the school and back home with various types of transport. The data was collected in a certain country in 2 different years, 1990 and 2010 and comprises the children aged between 5 and 12. Overall, travelling by car was the only mode of transport that gained popularity in 20 years. In addition, walking was preferred by more students compared to the other kinds. In 1990, slightly more than 4 million kids travelled to the school and back as car passengers, while thrice this number of children walked to school. Regarding cycling, it was used by a little over 6 million pupils in 1990. Furthermore, almost 6 million students both walked and took the bus to school, whereas around 7 million made trips with only buses. Following 20 years witnessed dramatic changes. By 2020, the popularity of travelling by car shot up, addressing more than 11 million pupils, while the other types of transport became less common. For instance, number of students walking to school and going back dropped by approximately 6. 3 million. The figure for walking and taking bus became half of what it was in 1990, while the decline in taking only buses was around 2 million. Finally cycling suffered by far the most, dropping more than thrice to just 2 million.
The bar chart compares how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
trips children made to the
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school
and back home with various types of transport. The data
was collected
in a certain country in 2
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different
years, 1990 and 2010 and comprises the children aged between 5 and 12.

Overall
, travelling by car was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mode of transport that gained popularity in 20 years.
In addition
, walking
was preferred
by more students compared to the other kinds.

In 1990,
slightly
more than 4
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million
kids travelled to the
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school
and back as car passengers, while thrice this number of children walked to
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school
. Regarding cycling, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by a
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little
over 6
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million
pupils in 1990.
Furthermore
, almost 6
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million
students both walked and took the bus to
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school
, whereas around 7
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million
made trips with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
buses.

Following 20 years witnessed dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. By 2020, the popularity of travelling by car shot up, addressing more than 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
pupils, while the other types of transport became less common.
For instance
, number of students walking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and going back dropped by approximately 6. 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. The figure for walking and taking bus became half of what it was in 1990, while the decline in taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
buses was around 2
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million
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
cycling suffered by far the most, dropping more than thrice to
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just
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares how many trips children made to the school and back home with various types of transpor

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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