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The diagram illustrates the process of setting up a tent called a tepee.

The diagram illustrates the process of setting up a tent called a tepee. 15aPX
The diagram illustrates the process of setting up a tent called a tepee. At the beginning of the process, a rope is used to tie three stricks together. Then, raise the tepee up in form of the big tripod by pulling the rope and attach more poles to establish its structure. After that, a huge canvas is necessary to enfold around the frame of poles from the back wall. Make sure that your canvas does not stack on others. At the same time, metal pins are provided to pin both sides of the tent together.  Finally, It's smart to secure the canvas to the ground using traditional metal tent stakes, so strong winds won't flow your teepee away. Overall, the tent-making process combines with five simple steps. Many tools are involved in the process, from rope to canvas.
The diagram illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of setting up a tent called a tepee.

At the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, a rope is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to tie
Possible spelling mistake found.
three stricks
together. Then, raise the tepee up in form of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
tripod by pulling the rope and attach more poles to establish its structure. After that, a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canvas
is necessary to enfold around the frame of poles from the back wall.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
sure that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canvas
does not stack on others. At the same time, metal pins
are provided
to pin both sides of the tent together.  
Finally
, It's smart to secure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canvas
to the ground using traditional metal tent stakes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
strong winds won't flow your
Possible spelling mistake found.
teepee
away.

Overall
, the tent-making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
combines with five simple steps.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
tools
are involved
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, from rope to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canvas
.

IELTS academic The diagram illustrates the process of setting up a tent called a tepee.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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