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The bar chart compares the proportion of women entering into higher education in five countries for the years 1970 and 2005.

The bar chart compares the proportion of women entering into higher education in five countries for the years 1970 and 2005. AjBQ1
The bar chart compares the proportion of women entering into higher education in five countries for the years 1970 and 2005. As can be seen from these results, the highest percentage is in Canada with 60% in 1970, while just under 20% of women in Japan enrolled in higher education. Nevertheless, when Japan shot up almost twice by the year 2005, the percentage in Canada remained exactly the same as that in 1970: 60%. It is apparent that after Canada, the least substantial change between two years is Germany, which the figure just went up from 50% to 55%. Moreover, the results of the UK and USA were approximately equal for both the years in question (rose about 20%). Overall, there is a clear upward trend in the percentage of female school-leavers who went to college after high school, except Canada which had no change in the period shown.
The bar chart compares the proportion of women entering into higher education in five countries for the years 1970 and 2005.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from these results, the highest percentage is in Canada with 60% in 1970, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 20% of women in Japan enrolled in higher education.
Nevertheless
, when Japan shot up almost twice by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005, the percentage in Canada remained exactly the same as that in 1970: 60%.

It is apparent that after Canada, the least substantial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
between two years is Germany, which the figure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
went up from 50% to 55%.
Moreover
, the results of the UK and USA were approximately equal for both the years in question (rose about 20%).

Overall
, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
upward trend in the percentage of female school-leavers who went to college after high school, except Canada which had no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the period shown.
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares the proportion of women entering into higher education in five countries for the years 1970 and 2005.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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