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The diagram illustrates heat lost and energy wasted which are happened in a house due to the air circulation.

The diagram illustrates heat lost and energy wasted which are happened in a house due to the air circulation. Ykld5
The picture illustrates what occurs with heat and energy when air goes into and out of the house. Dark and light arrows distinguishes air getting in and out accordingly. The diagrams shows the house and specifies the process of air circulation that leads to heat and energy loss. There are five rooms and one attic placed above the second floor. Several places are depicted where air leaks into and out of the house. Firstly, air gets into the house from dryer and kitchen fan vents. Some of air penetrates the building through windows and doors. It also might leak into from crawl space and electrical outlets. The exit for air is placed on the top layer of the house. Firstly, the threads go outside through a coupe of vents like bathroom fan and plumbing stack ones. Attic hatch and recessed lights, situated on the ceilings of the second floor, also affect air leak.
The picture illustrates what occurs with heat and energy when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
goes into and out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. Dark and light arrows distinguishes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
getting in and out
accordingly
.

The diagrams
You should probably use "show".
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and specifies the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
circulation that leads to heat and energy loss. There are five rooms and one attic placed above the second floor. Several places
are depicted
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
leaks into and out of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
from dryer and kitchen fan vents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
penetrates the building through windows and doors. It
also
might leak into from crawl space and electrical outlets.

The exit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
is placed
on the top layer of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
Firstly
, the threads go outside through a coupe of vents like bathroom fan and plumbing stack ones. Attic hatch and recessed lights, situated on the ceilings of the second floor,
also
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
leak.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates heat lost and energy wasted which are happened in a house due to the air circulation.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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