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The diagram gives information about the proportions of water used in three sectors among three areas of the world.

The diagram gives information about the proportions of water used in three sectors among three areas of the world. wlOm
The diagram gives information about the proportions of water used in three sectors among three areas of the world. Overall, it is clear that water is primarily used for residential purposes in San Diego and California, while the agriculture sector consumes the lowest amount of water. However, the global trend is completely reversed. It is also noticeable that water consumption is relatively similar in different usage in California. Domestic water use accounts for the largest amount in San Diego and California, at 60% and 39% respectively. By contrast, only 8% of water is used for the same purpose in other parts of the world, which is the lowest figure in the chart. While people living outside San Diego and California utilise 69% of water for agriculture, the highest figure in the graph as a whole, people in the former two areas consume the lowest amount of water in farmland, at 17% and 28% respectively. The figures for industrial consumption are the same in San Diego and the rest of the world, with 23% of water being used.
The diagram gives information about the proportions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in three sectors among three areas of the world.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
primarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for residential purposes in San Diego and California, while the agriculture sector consumes the lowest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
However
, the global trend is completely reversed. It is
also
noticeable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption is
relatively
similar in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
usage in California.

Domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
accounts for the largest amount in San Diego and California, at 60% and 39%
respectively
. By contrast,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the same purpose in other parts of the world, which is the lowest figure in the chart.

While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living outside San Diego and California
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
69% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for agriculture, the highest figure in the graph as a whole,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the former two areas consume the lowest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in farmland, at 17% and 28%
respectively
. The figures for industrial consumption are the same in San Diego and the rest of the world, with 23% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

IELTS academic The diagram gives information about the proportions of water used in three sectors among three areas of the world.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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