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The diagram below shows the process of producing electricity by a hydroelectric dam.

The diagram below shows the process of producing electricity by a hydroelectric dam. xayJb
The diagram illustrates the phases and apparatus of producing electricity by a hydroelectric dam. Overall, it is apparent from the chart that there are a number if stages in this man-made process, commencing with the reservoir and culminating in generating electricity. The process initiates with the water being collected in the reservoir. The water behind the dam passes through the intake and is funneled through a narrow water channel, the pen stock. The water channel us a narrow passage which is designed to add speed in the flow of the water and slopes downwards. In the subsequent stages, the flow of water rotates the turbine. Then, the generator which is connected to the turbine, produces the electricity The generator is situated on the top of the generator, inside the powerhouse. The generator electricity is sent via long distance power lines to where it is needed.
The diagram illustrates the phases and apparatus of producing electricity by a hydroelectric dam.

Overall
, it is apparent from the chart that there are a number if stages in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made process, commencing with the reservoir and culminating in generating electricity.

The process initiates with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
being collected
in the reservoir. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
behind the dam passes through the intake and
is funneled
through a narrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
channel, the pen stock.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
channel us a narrow passage which
is designed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
speed in the flow of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and slopes downwards.

In the subsequent stages, the flow of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
rotates the turbine. Then, the generator which
is connected
to the turbine, produces the electricity The generator
is situated
on the top of the generator, inside the powerhouse. The generator electricity is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
via long distance power lines to where it
is needed
.

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the process of producing electricity by a hydroelectric dam.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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