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The diagram below shows the maunfucatring and processing of dairy farm products

The diagram below shows the maunfucatring and processing of dairy farm products XlO1q
The diagram illustrates, in contrast, to various stages involved. With regard, to production and processing of four kinds of dairy farm products. Such as buttermilk, cheese, cream and butter respectively. For sale in supermarkets and shops. Overall, it can be observed, that there are eight stages involved in this process. Firstly, cows graze grass on the field. Followed, by other six stages which then eventually, lead to storage of this dairy products in supermarket and kiosk for sale. Firstly, cows graze grass in the field. Then transferred to machine where milking will be done twice a day. Later, the buttermilk will be stored in the refrigeration tank to maintain the required, temperature. Furthermore, stored milk is transferred to tanker which further, send to dairy farm. Secondly, buttermilk will further, pasteurized in dairy farm farm. As a result, milk, cheese, cream and butter will, be obtained. Subsequently, the obtained products will be stored in supermarkets and shops. For consumers to purchase.
The diagram illustrates,
in contrast
, to various stages involved. With regard, to production and processing of four kinds of
dairy
farm products. Such as buttermilk, cheese, cream and butter
respectively
. For sale in supermarkets and shops.

Overall
, it can
be observed
, that there are eight stages involved in this process.
Firstly
, cows graze grass on the field. Followed, by other six stages which then
eventually
, lead to storage of this
dairy
products in supermarket and kiosk for sale.

Firstly
, cows graze grass in the field. Then transferred to machine where milking will
be done
twice a day. Later, the buttermilk will
be stored
in the refrigeration tank to maintain the required, temperature.
Furthermore
, stored milk
is transferred
to tanker which
further
,
send
to
dairy
farm.

Secondly
, buttermilk will
further
, pasteurized in
dairy
farm farm
.
As a result
, milk, cheese, cream and butter will,
be obtained
.
Subsequently
, the obtained products will
be stored
in supermarkets and shops. For consumers to
purchase
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the maunfucatring and processing of dairy farm products

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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