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The diagram below shows the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years . Write a report for university lecturer summarising the information shown below

The diagram below shows the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years. Write a report for university lecturer summarising the information shown below d3Kwd
The particulars in regard to the pictorial representation depicts the information about the evolution of the horse over 40 million years. It is vivid, Eohippus that existed 40 million years ago had four equal sized digits. It had no snout, no Mane and its limbs were very short. Furthermore, the change took place 30 million years ago, resulted in not only the reduction of the number of digits from four to three but also in the development of mane, tail and stronger limbs. Turning to the remaining details, during the Merychippus phase that took place 15 million years ago, there was a dramatic increase in the foot structure. At this stage, there was further incline in the size and shape. Moreover, the three digits blended together to form hoof of the present horse. The modern house is much stronger with a long tail, a luxurious mane and a fully formed hoof. Hence, it can be deduced that it took a very long time for a horse to attain its present body structure.
The particulars in regard to the pictorial representation depicts the information about the evolution of the horse over 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years.

It is vivid,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eohippus
that existed 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years ago had four equal sized digits. It had no snout, no Mane and its limbs were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
took place 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years ago, resulted in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the reduction of the number of digits from four to three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the development of mane, tail and stronger limbs.

Turning to the remaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, during the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Merychippus
phase that took place 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years ago, there was a dramatic increase in the foot structure. At this stage, there was
further
incline in the size and shape.
Moreover
, the three digits blended together to form hoof of the present horse. The modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is much stronger with a long tail, a luxurious mane and a
fully
formed hoof.

Hence
, it can
be deduced
that it took a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time for a horse to attain its present body structure.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years. Write a report for university lecturer summarising the information shown below

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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